Whoopi Goldberg – Site

Director: Hugh Wilson

Writers: Jeph Loeb, Matthew Weisman, Hugh Wilson, Lawrence Block (novel)

Cast: Whoopi Goldberg, Bob Goldthwait, G.W. Bailey, Lesley Ann Warren

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Goldberg plays Bernice “Bernie” Rhodenbarr, a former burglar who resumes when a corrupt police officer blackmails her.

Things take a turn for the worse when the house Bernice burgles has a dead body in it. Since she’s the prime suspect, Bernice is forced into many chase scenes as she plays detective to find out who the real murderer is in order to clear her name.

She is aided by her only two friends: the hapless dog groomer Carl Hefler and the drunken floozy Frankie. Along the way, she almost gets killed by numerous tough guys while being closely followed by two stupid cops.

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The film was adapted from the 1978 novel The Burglar in The Closet by Lawrence Block; in Block’s book, Bernie Rhodenbarr is a white man. It was also the first live-action production from the Canadian animation company, Nelvana.

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See the trailer:

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The TV Trailer:

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Trivia provided by The Internet Movie Database:

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• Based on the book “The Burglar in The Closet”.

• While loosely based on the Burglar novels by Lawrence Block, two of the principal characters underwent major changes: Bernard “Bernie” Rhodenbarr, a white male bookstore owner/burglar, became Bernice “Bernie” Rhodenbarr as played by Whoopi Goldberg; lesbian dog groomer Carolyn Kaiser, Bernie’s best friend, became gay dog groomer Carl Heller and was portrayed by Bob Goldthwait.

• Bruce Willis was originally offered the role of Bernie (before the character was changed to a woman in the screenplay).

• In one of the bar scenes, “WKRP in Cincinnati” (1978) can be seen playing on a television in the background. Director Hugh Wilson was the creator of this series.

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Memorable quotes from the movie:

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[to the man who just tried to kill her by drowning]
Bernice Bernie Rhodenbarr: You ruined my life, my ‘do, AND my Manilow tapes!
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Bernice ‘Bernie’ Rhodenbarr: [Bernice enters the apartment and the alarm sounds] That’s right, bitch, don’t tell me about the alarm.
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Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake: There is a DISTINCT difference between killing someone and fucking them!
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Vincent ‘Knobby’ DiCarno: What’ll it be?
Carl Hefler: [walking up to the bar] Package delivery.
Vincent ‘Knobby’ DiCarno: For who?
Carl Hefler: It just says “Mayday”.
Vincent ‘Knobby’ DiCarno: Here I’ll take it.
Carl Hefler: Ya gotta sign for it.
[passing a clipboard]
Vincent ‘Knobby’ DiCarno: [signs and returns clipboard]
Carl Hefler: [reading signature] Kay-no-bee… K-noby! Is that like in Star Wars?
Vincent ‘Knobby’ DiCarno: No idiot, it’s “Knobby”.
Carl Hefler: Oh! it’s… so it’s like a nickname.
Vincent ‘Knobby’ DiCarno: Yes, I think maybe it’s something like that.
[knocking on his bald head]
Carl Hefler: Well I’m gonna need your full name, please.
Vincent ‘Knobby’ DiCarno: Sorry…
Carl Hefler: Come on, it’s the regulations.
Vincent ‘Knobby’ DiCarno: Hey fuck you, okay?
Carl Hefler: Fuck you? Thank you very much! I come here to give you a fuckin’ package and you decide to blow me shit?
[getting more irate]
Carl Hefler: Like-like-like-like-like-like-like you’re my idea of a dream come true – takin’ shit from a dildo with ears?
[shouting]
Carl Hefler: You know when I was like five I said, “Dad, Dad! Can I get a job where random fuckin’ shitheads blow me crap all day?” I’m gonna break you in fuckin’ half and use your head has a ballpoint!
[grabs Knobby by the shirt]
Carl Hefler: Now sign the goddamn thing!

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Goofs from the movie:

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Continuity: In the scene when She enters the apartment three cigarette tab ends can be seen in the ash tray yet after she breaks out the closet and surveys the room only two are shown.